Guests invited to the wedding celebration of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce did not have to worry about choosing the perfect present.According to the BBC, the couple adopted a “no gift” policy, joining a growing number of modern couples who are asking family and friends to simply attend the celebration rather than spend money on wedding presents. Instead of traditional gift registries filled with household items, many invitations now carry a simple message: “Your presence is enough, but if you would like to give us a gift, please donate to our honeymoon fund.”For guests, replacing a gift list with bank transfer details often creates a different question. How much is the right amount to give?
Cash gifts are becoming more common
Wedding list service Prezola says it has seen more couples asking guests to contribute towards specific experiences instead of placing money into a general cash fund.Rather than buying kitchen appliances or homeware, guests can help pay for activities such as a romantic dinner, a spa treatment or an excursion during the honeymoon.According to the company, the average guest contributes around £116. The amount people choose to give varies depending on their relationship with the couple, cultural expectations and how much they have already spent attending the wedding.
Guests weigh up what they can afford
Jonny, 34, says he and his wife Lottie usually give between £250 and £400, depending on how close they are to the bride and groom and what their finances allow at the time. “We don’t have that many friends, so it’s nice to give generously,” he says.When Jonny got married, most close friends contributed between £100 and £200. One couple gave £400, while his father gifted the newlyweds £2,000.The money became spending cash for the couple’s 17-day honeymoon in Canada.Despite receiving generous gifts, Jonny says he and his wife had already budgeted for the trip themselves “because it’s not worth the risk of relying on donations”.
QR codes replacing wrapped presents
Not everyone believes wedding gifts need to cost hundreds of pounds.Hannah Rose-Thorn, 30, says she “always gives £50 in a card”, which also turned out to be the average contribution guests made towards her own honeymoon fund.Instead of a gift table, Hannah and her partner made donating easy.“We mentioned money on our invitations and also created print-out QR codes for people to scan at the bar,” she says.Their guests contributed around £3,000, which the couple planned to use as spending money during a honeymoon they had already paid for.According to UK wedding planning website Hitched, the average British couple spends around £4,000 on their honeymoon.Even after requesting cash, Hannah still received traditional presents.
How to pick the perfect wedding gift for a couple
“We got a lot of champagne and some flute glasses from my boss at work, which were nice, but we have a lot of that so it will most likely get regifted,” she says.Jonny says some guests simply prefer giving something they see as more personal.“They mean well, but it probably means you’ll get a bunch of John Lewis and M&S vouchers, like we did, as well as some physical gifts too,” he says.
‘Nobody wants that random dish’
Bride-to-be Chelsea Chivers believes cash gifts have become the new normal.“Some people see money as impersonal and think it’s awkward to give but it’s kind of standard now, so either give nothing or give money.“Nobody wants that random dish.”Chelsea usually gives around £200 when friends get married and even more for close family members.She says circumstances also matter. When one friend held a wedding in South Africa, travelling there had already cost guests thousands of pounds, so she did not feel another gift was necessary.She also admits she and her partner rarely agree on how much to contribute.“He would give £50 if left to him,” she says.
Some guests still prefer personal gifts
Not everyone is convinced that transferring money is the best way to celebrate a wedding.Ollie Hickey, 28, has contributed between £30 and £50 to several honeymoon funds but says they feel “a little impersonal”.“I like the idea that you can tie something specific to someone who shared your day with you, rather than a pot of money,” he says.Although he is not engaged, Ollie and his partner have already discussed what they would ask for if they marry.As keen record collectors, they hope guests would each bring a vinyl record that means something to them.He says it would become “a piece of the people that are part of our special day”.
Wedding gifts paying for more than honeymoons
Cash gifts are not always spent on holidays.Roxie Westwood married in Ibiza and says she “didn’t expect any gifts”, but guests still contributed about £100 per couple.Originally intended for a honeymoon, the money ultimately helped fund IVF treatment.“We had hoped we’d conceive naturally, but we’d started trying long before our wedding and it wasn’t happening,” she says.When “reality kicked in”, using the money for IVF felt like the right decision.She says the contributions covered a large part of the treatment costs and she remains grateful to friends and relatives for “playing a part” in bringing her son into the world.
Honeymoon fund?
Georgia Finch, 26, also chose a different route.Instead of asking for honeymoon contributions, she requested money towards renovating her loft.Around 80 guests contributed £2,500, which she says “was amazing” and paid for roughly half of the project.As a wedding guest herself, Georgia prefers giving money, especially when couples allow guests to pay for specific honeymoon experiences such as scuba diving, a luxury breakfast or a couples’ massage.Still, she says her own budget is limited.“The most I would personally give to a fund at the moment is £20, because money is tight right now.”
Culture can shape expectations
Wedding gift customs can also differ between countries.Ewa Lewszyk-Howes says relatives from Poland typically gave between £250 and £400 at her wedding, while her husband’s English friends and family usually contributed around £100 per couple.“But that comes with different expectations,” she says.She explains that Polish weddings often include large celebrations with extensive food, an open bar and accommodation provided for guests.“In the UK, guests are more likely to spend that money on travel, hotels, taxis and other costs that come with attending,” she says.
